It’s always been important for me to help my children develop good self-esteem. As a child I struggled with self-esteem and courage. I never signed up for anything or did any extra projects because it would usually require me to make something difficult or give a presentation. It would have forced me to leave my comfort zone and I hated that unfamiliar territory with a passion.
My oldest daughter is the exact opposite. She wants to sign up for any project, contest or club even if she has no idea what it entails. When she was six, I had to calmly explain to her as why she couldn’t join the third grade chess club.
When she was in first grade she came home with a flyer from her teacher. It was a Columbus Day project and it was entirely voluntary, meaning it was not graded. The project was to create a boat out of items from your house. Her teacher had brought in a model out of wood that her father had created in his garage as an example. I felt the pressure bearing down on me as she waved the paper in front of my face, so full of excitement, she couldn’t contain it.
I’m not a crafty mom or a Pinterest mom. Growing up, I avoided projects such as these for that very fact. I gave my daughter a warning about my crafting skills but told her I would do my best to help her. The project had a few directions. The boat had to float. It had to have a driver. It had to have at least one movable part and you would have to present it to the class.
I looked around our house and got a few ideas from google. Together, we took a large egg cartoon, cut and glued it into the shape of a boat and covered it in aluminum foil. We tested it out and it floated. From there, the boat took shape. My daughter made a sail out of construction paper and a straw. She created a steering wheel. We made a movable rudder out of a popsicle stick and an anchor out of paper clips. We placed a small princess doll into the boat as the driver. It turned out quite cute in the end and my daughter was proud of it.
I came to her class the day of her presentation and brought her boat with me. As I walk in and hand it to her, I can tell she’s already a little upset. There were five other children who were also doing the project and the boats their families had made were incredible. I felt myself shrinking into my shoes over these elaborate, hand crafted boats. Most of them were made out of wood and professional looking.
My daughter looks down at her boat and doesn’t say anything but I can tell she feels bad about it. I watch her self-esteem in this fun project crashing around her. I also can’t help but to feel a little guilty about not being more talented. I’m already taking the blame and then the presentations start.
We listen to the other children, mumble and stumble over their words. They’re only first graders and this is their first presentation. I feel their pain, I still get nervous over public speaking. Most of them can’t explain how the boat was made (most likely their parents did the entire thing), they have no idea what materials were used and are struggling to prove to the teacher that they have a movable part on their boat. When the other kids ask questions they just shrug their shoulders unable to answer.
My daughter was the last presenter. She proudly takes her simple boat made out of aluminum foil and an egg cartoon and walks up to the front of her class. In a loud, articulate voice, she presents her boat and explains from start to finish how she made it. She lists all the supplies used, proudly shows everyone the movable part and answers all of the questions with ease. The teacher is grinning ear to ear. I have never been more proud of her!
Later when we come home, she tells me. “Mom, all those other kids had much better boats than me.”
I tell her. “Honey, their boats may have looked better but I have never been more proud of you. They couldn’t explain how their boats were made. You could! They had no idea what supplies they had used. You did! They were all so afraid of presenting and that’s okay but you weren’t! This project wasn’t about who could make the most incredible boat it was about the process and you mastered that process!”
She smiles and gives me a hug.
She kept that boat on her dresser for over two years until finally we tossed it out during a spring cleaning. I miss that boat now. I wish we would have kept it. I didn’t realize its significance until now. My daughter could have done what I would have done as a child, either choosing not to do it or dying of embarrassment over a silly aluminum foil boat. Instead, she faced her class with courage and gave an impressive presentation.
She learned an important lesson in believing in yourself and taking pride in your own original work. She may not have had the most impressive looking boat that day but she learned that there’s value in everything you try and everything you create!
