I love having two daughters. To be honest, it’s been a dream come true. I always dreamed of having a sister. I longed for that sort of relationship growing up and if I’m to be completely truthful, I still do.
I have a wonderful brother. I love him to death and we have a great relationship but still there is a difference between having a brother and having a sister. I didn’t have a sister to stand up with me when I got married, or throw me a bridal shower or baby shower. Coming from a small family that isn’t particularly close, this was difficult. I didn’t have very many girlfriends in which I could trust growing up nor did I have someone who I could talk to.
There’s a depth of understanding and love that only two sisters can have for one another. I’ve witnessed it, in my friends who have sisters. It’s an unbreakable bond shared through marriages, trials, childbirth, shared experiences and understanding.
I’ve watched friends of mine, fight with their sisters, refuse to speak to them for weeks on end and then when emergency strikes, there’s a united front! They drop everything to be there for one another and share a relationship that only women can have with each other.
I see that with my own two daughters but still there are moments with my oldest, where I almost want to shake her and remind her, “You have a sister! She loves you and looks up to you. Pay attention to her!”
My youngest always think of her older sister first. When she comes home from school, the first person she wants to share her day with is her sister. Most of the times, her sister is too cranky from her long day to care. My youngest always congratulates her sister on every accomplishment. She wants to be involved in every aspect of her sister’s life, to her friends, her sports and even her sorrows. This annoys my oldest.
Sometimes, I fear she doesn’t spare her little sister a thought.
In the evenings when our girls get rambunctious, we send them upstairs to play. I love hearing their games. They still play Barbie’s together or have picnics for their stuffed animals. Outside, they play games for hours on our trampoline or build fairy houses in our garden. I imagine them being the greatest of friends someday and then my oldest rejects something her sister does.
It breaks my heart. Usually, it’s a drawing or a sweet note that my youngest attempts to give to her. Sometimes, it’s a hug. My youngest just wants to give her sister a hug! It’s not a big thing, it’s just a hug and when I see her get rejected, I want to die inside.
There are other times though when they both fill me with such joy in their sisterly bond. They protect each other. My oldest makes sure her sister is never in danger and she sticks up for her. In the neighborhood with all the other children, she always includes her. During my youngest daughter’s ballet class, my oldest tells me, “Mom, she’s so cute! I’m so proud of her!”
Still though, I worry. I worry that as they grow and become teenagers, they’re going to be cruel to each other, ruining their relationship. I worry that it will haunt them clear into adulthood. I worry about spiteful jealousy and fighting over boys. I’m doing what I can now, to help their relationship grow and become strong so it can whether times of difficulty.
I also have to remind my oldest daughter, that whether she likes it or not, her sister looks up to her like she looks up to no one else. She is so proud of everything she does and she loves her with all of her heart. She feels such a strong connection to her as her sister that it bypasses anything she feels towards my husband and I. I want her to treasure it! Someday, God-willing a long time from now, it will be just the two of them.
My youngest daughter wrote the sweetest, most heart-felt note to her sister just the other day. For once, it wasn’t rejected and my oldest daughter even smiled. I don’t know if she is mature enough to understand the depth of love in which it was written but I think she understood the general feeling behind it.
For me as a mom, the note made me cry. It both shattered me into a million little pieces and filled me with such tremendous love that I don’t think a word even exists to describe it. My hope and prayer, is that together they will always remember this note.
