The Hunting Widow

There’s a common saying that my mom threw around the house when I was growing up. Whenever my dad left to go on a hunting trip she would refer to herself as a, “Hunting Widow.” A poor woman whose husband has left her for the great outdoors and the challenge of a good deer hunt. My mom was a hunting widow quite frequently.

When I grew up and married my husband, we moved to a housing development. Most of our friends, whether country people or not, didn’t grow up hunting. I’m about seventh months pregnant with our first daughter, when one of my husband’s friends comes over to help us remodel our garage. He’s a handsome man in his mid-thirties, single and very polite.

Together they spend a total of three days, building, sanding and painting until the garage comes together. My dad has been on a hunting trip for a few days and my mom decides to surprise us with a visit. She knows I have two hungry men at the house so she brings over a large stock pot of her delicious homemade stew.  She comes right into our house and proudly introduces herself to our friend.

Now, my mom is a very friendly woman. She’s outgoing and very charming but also has a sense of innocence about her. She’s not afraid to talk to anyone and I do mean anyone because there have been times, when her friendliness has been perceived as flirting. She is normally oblivious to this fact. This unfortunately was one of those times.

As my husband and I were in the kitchen ladling out bowls of soup. She is in the living room with our friend, chatting away. We missed this part of the conversation but I wish I could have been a fly on the wall.

“My husbands has left me!” She tells him with dramatic flair. “I’m a hunting widow.” She then giggles.

Our poor friends face goes from smiling politely to panicking.

“Oh.” He says. “Uhhhh…” He stumbles over his words and doesn’t know how to continue. He thinks that she is coming on to him. He mistakes, “Hunting Widow,” for a woman who’s on the hunt for a man. He thinks she’s a cougar! He’s positively freaking out inside, knowing that this is my mom yet still trying to be polite. His face must have shown everything because now my mom’s getting uncomfortable.

My mom gives him a strange looks. “You get it right, hunting widow?” She asks him.

With eyes as wide as a deer in the headlights, he just stares at her, debating on how he’s going to handle this compromising situation.

“Hunting widow!” She tells him. “My husband is on a hunting trip. Hunting widow, get it?”

It takes him a few jaw-dropping seconds. The awkwardness settling around them until finally he seems to understand.

“Oh! Oh yeah! Right!” He exclaims in relief.

At that moment, my mom realizes her mistake and what he must have been thinking. My husband and I come out at just the right moment and serve them the stew. She eats and leaves rather abruptly. After I have carried my rather heavy pregnant body off to bed, our friend admits to my husband the mistake he made. They have a good laugh over it. The following day my mom calls me in embarrassment. I of course, have already learned of their awkward conversation and I assure her he now knows the truth. We attempt to laugh the embarrassment away.

“You’re a cougar, Mom!” I tell her and I can hear her laughing on the other line.

My mom is great story teller and she has added that one to her list of tales that she tells at get-togethers and over family dinners. Anyone who knows my mom and her personality, appreciates it. Not everyone can admit, that their mom came over and hit on their friend! Although, she is a bit more careful now when using the term, “Hunting Widow.”

This is just another moment in my crazy, family life. I learned from the best!