I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for a little over seven years now. It’s a title, a job, and a badge of honor that I’m proud of but with this title comes a lot of difficult responsibilities. Often times, it feels thankless and exhausting. However, through all the ups and downs of my crazy family life, there is one role, one constant battle that I’ve become the expert on. Keeping the peace!
I’ve become the peacekeeper of the family. The mom and wife who everyone needs, constantly…consistently…every moment….I’m the one who sets the mood for the family. I’m the one who keeps this well-oiled machine running. I’m the peacekeeper and without me, our world would fall into chaos.
I became a stay-at-home mom out of desire. I worked when my oldest was little but desperately wanted to be home with her. After the birth of my second daughter, my desire came true and later it became necessary. My husband started a new job, we relocated and with financial success came burdensome responsibilities. His job required long nights, working most Saturdays and significant mental stress. I picked up both reigns to support him in this.
Now, seven years later, we have a life we love and are proud of. Yet, I thought the burdens of my role as a homemaker would somehow lesson. Wow, was I wrong! In my family, I’m everyone’s everything. I’ve become the unofficial Peacekeeper of our home and sometime I’m not sure it’s a title I want.
I’m the one who keeps the house clean of clutter, runs all the errands, makes the nutritious meals to keep everyone balanced, pre-packs lunches every night before bed and keeps the laundry going so that physical peace is possible. When everyone trudges in from their long days, they expect a haven of rest and to the best of my ability I give it to them.
I’m the one who breaks up the constant fighting and bickering from our two daughters, one in which is approaching the teenage years. The screeching, the complaining, the physical confrontations of, “She hit me! She pinched me! She stuck her feet in my face! She threw my stuffed animal on the ground!” I police every one of these fights until I’m red in the face.
I’m the one who dries their tears when they had a rough day at school, didn’t do well on a test or come home with hurt feelings. They rely on me, Mom the Peacekeeper, to make everything right and to put a smile back on their faces. They rely on me to calm them down. This isn’t to say that my husband isn’t involved. He’s a wonderful dad! He does as much parenting as I do but let’s face it, at the end of the day, our girls want me for the difficult stuff. I make things better with a kiss and a hug. Peace in our household can’t be accomplished without me.
I keep our daughters calm and quiet on the nights my husband works late or has a dreaded meeting so that the responsibility of having to discipline after a rough day doesn’t fall on him. The same goes for Sunday mornings when he gets a chance to finally sleep in. I’m doing everything in my power to keep the girls quiet so he can rest and be functional on Monday. I’m even keeping the crazy kitten we adopted calm so that her little feet aren’t running up and down the hallway and waking him up.
It’s a full time job keeping the peace!
My husband also values my advice! Wow, I know. I should never complain about having a partner who actually wants to have a discussion with me. But yes, when it comes to work conflicts, life advice or an in-depth proof read on something he’s writing, I’m the person he comes to. I give him the peace and clarity that he’s seeking.
In our marriage, I’m the one who is less likely to start a fight because I’d rather have an anxiety free household. I also manage to stay neutral in family drama or drama with friends. I would much rather referee their fights or stage an intervention in which to help them instead of actually getting involved in the anger.
And If I’m actually, truly having a bad day or I’m really sad or depressed, it’s difficult for the family to handle. I see all their little eyes on me, wondering if they somehow did something wrong and how desperately they want me to be happy again and it makes my responsibility feel even greater than it did before. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone to my thoughts and when it passes I’m ready to resume my role.
I’m the Peacekeeper and everyone needs something from me! This is a role I cherish and sometimes wish I didn’t have but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love the life I’ve helped to build but one thing is certain…this ship would sink without me!
