I’m a blogger who hates social media! Alright, so maybe hate is too harsh a word so I’ll settle with, “Not a fan of!”
I was late in the game for joining Facebook. The Facebook entity had already been around for quite a few years before I hopped on board. During this time, my husband was working in online marketing and creating his own blog, reviewing MLM companies. I had just become a stay-at-home mom and was looking for a way to stay in touch with friends and gain a few sorely missed computer skills. He suggested I join Facebook so I created my first account.
I’ve enjoyed Facebook and Twitter from afar. I’ve never immersed myself into the drama, the debates, the judgmental comments, the shock value or any of the forms of instant gratification that social media seems to bring. From the very start of my social media journey, I saw the flaws, the dangers, the bullying and the addictions involved. I remember thinking to myself, “This isn’t good for the human species. This isn’t going to be healthy.” But even with my sense of foresight, I still joined in like a lemming to the sea. Seven years later, I’m not surprised to discover that my fears were correct.
Yet, I love many aspects of social media. I love blogging specifically and reading articles by other bloggers. I love cute videos, I love witty quotes and most importantly, I love seeing pictures of friends and family who I rarely get to see. However, within these areas that I love…there are so many things that disturb me…I mean really disturb me! I see a never ending cycle of Facebook addiction and constant attention seeking. I, like everyone else, get a strange rush of adrenaline with every like or comment I receive. But I also see examples of blatant hate, I see extreme cruelty and it makes me question the very existence of the human race.
It makes me really sad!
I no longer accept friend requests on Facebook unless I truly know the person or I find their posts to be decent. By decent, I’m not referring to an occasional curse word or rant, I’m talking about harmful things meant to slander or vilify others. I may have been acquainted with you as a child but as a woman approaching middle age, I don’t have any desire to fill my feed up with people who live their life recklessly.
I made the mistake of accepting friend requests from a few high School acquaintances a couple of years ago. A picture of my group at prom was circulated around. I thought it was cute and an uplifting reminder of my youth. However within a few weeks, I was alerted by another friend that so and so from high school had started an entire thread about me.
I had never been friends with this person and I honestly had to visit her Facebook page just to jog my memory as to who she was. She wasn’t spreading anything vicious about me but she was seeking out information that was none of her business, specifically asking about my husband and children. I noticed my friends on the post were trying to avoid her questions and give her vague answers. One friend even came to my defense, reminding this person that I was very private on social media. They assured her that I was happy and healthy. Finally, a mom of one of my friends got involved and shut the whole questioning down. Proof that no matter how old we get, we always need our parents!
I remember my head spinning as I shrunk in fear over my keyboard! My heart was pounding and in anger, I almost wished that mom hadn’t come to my defense. I wanted to be the one to battle it out! So, as the old saying goes…keep your friends close and your enemies closer, I sent her a friend request. For a few weeks, in a strange eerie obsession I was convinced she meant me harm. In a high school like fever I was waiting for her to start spreading rumors about me and I was prepared for a fight! Apparently though, my life wasn’t interesting enough and she deleted me after a few weeks.
I realized that the obsession, the fear, the assumptions were really just on me!
Any stray thought or passionate feeling, instantly is posted without any care to the consequences or to the people it may hurt. If I were to consider the daily thoughts that run through my head as I navigate my own crazy life, I would say more than half of them should never be repeated to anyone. I also don’t get offended if someone has a different opinion than me but unfortunately a lot of people do and they readily want to call you out for it.
The political discussions, the propaganda, the slander, the sorting of people by political groups have destroyed a space that was once fun and enjoyable. I’ve witnessed relationships sour, friendships destroyed and people that normally speak kindly turn ugly behind a keyboard.
For the last year, my husband has used Facebook as a political platform until he started losing sleep over his posts. He realized his obsession with debating, with proving people wrong was causing his mind to become riddled with anxiety. He finally stepped away and within a few days, he felt an unburdening relief. The fact he became self-aware of his unhealthily relationship with Facebook is commendable
I feel as if I’m witnessing a war between people that share a difference of opinion. It’s not just politics either. I’ve seen church members, people that I’ve known my entire life, engulfed in religious debates, each accusing the other of being too liberal or too conservative. In reality, it makes good christian people look like hypocrites.
I’ve had people post bible verses and parables aimed directly at me because they didn’t care for a meme or an article I re-posted. For the record, I don’t post anything inappropriate but when someone tries to blast me with self-righteousness, I do take offense!
There’s also an obsession with posting about health issues. I truly believe, that people are obsessed with the sympathy and attention they receive by posting play by plays of their ailments, specifically the ailments of their children. How can every single family I know on Facebook, all be at death’s door step from a common cold!
Honestly, the only time I’m ever going to post about a health issue, is if it’s serious and I’m asking for prayers. If I have the stomach flu, I’m not going to advertise it. And…if I’m bent over the toilet bowl and in dire misery, I’m not going to be well enough to Facebook my symptoms!
Hmm…makes you wonder doesn’t it?
I don’t need an hourly update on your child’s low-grade fever. I’m truly sorry they’re sick but children get colds, they just do. Trust me, no one wants to read about your diarrhea or your menstrual cramps either. Nobody wants to see a picture of your child’s poop when they use the potty for the first time! At the very least, insert a poop emoji for heaven’s sake!
Social media has created its own monster…in the form of people constantly requiring validation for literally everything!
It’s like I stated before my relationship with social media is a love-hate dilemma. As a blogger, I love it and professionally I need it. As a human seeking out peace and contentment in my life, I know it’s a slippery slope. I’ll continue to use social media but with eyes continually open and with boundaries that keep my family and I safe.
