I’ve received many questions and comments over the years in how I managed to handle my move. Most people I meet find it hard to believe that I willingly packed my family up and moved away. They usually start with saying, “I can’t believe you left your entire family behind!”
Then the more difficult questions follow. “Were you scared or depressed? Were you lonely?”
My answer is simple.” Yes, I was all those things and more but I still did it.”
It took us years to recover from the recession of 2008. My husband and I both realized the area we lived in and his job, were nothing but dead ends. We were in a world that I equate to a fish bowl. We, like all the other goldfish, were just swimming around. Nothing was changing, we were trapped with three second memories, believing that this small bowl was all there was to life.
We refused to accept it and three years ago my husband applied for a higher position in his company. He was hired but it required us to move about 3 and a half hours away from the Puget Sound. I’m a small town girl, used to living within a 20 mile radius of all my family and friends. With bravery and a lot of faith, I was willing to move. I wanted better for my family, for my husband who was miserable and consistently having his wings clipped, to my children who I wanted so badly to flourish in an area with new opportunities and a slower pace to life.
The move was relatively easy at first. My first goal, as a mom, was to help my children adjust. My oldest started kindergarten mid-year. I worked with the staff to help her in her adjustment. I encouraged friendships and took her to any birthday party she was invited to. I spent extra time during the day to love on my three-year old and find activities for us to do. I supported my husband in his new job, taking care of the house, forgiving him for his long hours and making sure there was dinner waiting for him when he came home.
I worked…I worked my butt off each and everyday to take care of my precious family. Yes, I was lonely…I was scared…I was depressed… I kept on working and then when I realized that everyone around me was fine, I started working on myself. It was a journey to find myself again and the truth is, I love the woman I am today more than the woman I was before I moved. Being alone, forced me to discover my own empowerment.
My advice to any woman relocating with her family…Research the area first. Make sure that you and your husband have a stable relationship. If you are in a rocky patch, it will only get rockier. Treat your move as an adventure and laugh at your mistakes. Explore your new area as a family. Force yourself to get out and meet other women or mom’s at school. Find a babysitter as scary as that may feel. Don’t be afraid to ask for play dates, having kids is a great way to make friends. Join a mom’s group or a church. Church families are wonderful! Join a community center or gym. Remember that true friendships with other adults take time…put in the effort.
Practice self-care. Do something just for you. Pray…get your nails done…meditate…write out your frustrations like I do! The rest will honestly fall into place…before long, your new life will be just your life. You will know that you are home! Most importantly though, have faith and remember to indulge now and then on a glass of wine!
