When Moms Know More than Doctors

Let’s be honest here. We all know a parent who believes every little thing their child tells them. They refuse to entertain the thought that their child could ever lie, is ever a bully and basically ever does anything wrong. They also know more than any other parent. They never make mistakes, they have an answer for anything, they are a better teacher, a better doctor and their child is a brilliant genius.

I have known parents like these, specifically a few moms and though I wish them well, I promised myself I would never become like that. I also have sworn to live my life with patience and kindness. No matter what the storm I face, or medical emergency, or issue at school, I will handle it with wisdom and grace.

So then, why I am I writing a blog post about this? I’m writing it because a few days ago, I completely stuck my foot in my mouth. To top it off, I think my daughter pulled a fake sickness on me worthy of an Oscar. Yet, I still can’t figure out for sure if she was actually faking. That’s how brilliant she could be! The fact I’m still scratching my head is concerning.

My youngest daughter came down with swimmers ear last spring. Since that time, her ears have been a little on the sensitive side but nothing that concerned me enough to take her back to the doctor. On the second day of school, I practically had to push her into her classroom. She flat out did not want to go. When I picked her up from school, she runs up to me, holding her ear and complaining of intense ear pain. I hug her and comfort her as she starts crying. Big alligator tears roll down her cheeks.

I ask her. “Why didn’t you go to the School Nurse?”

She tells me. “It wasn’t hurting then.”

“Let’s go home and see how you feel.” I offer.

She lets out a strangled cry and tells me her head also aches. As I attempt to walk across the playground with her, she starts coughing and sputtering. Her throat also hurts and she tells me she’s having trouble swallowing. Now, I’m officially concerned. I rush her out to the car. She starts holding onto her belly and screaming. Her stomach is hurting so bad, she can hardly move. I’ve never seen her like this and she doesn’t fake illnesses.

“We’re going urgent care right now!” I tell her.

She gives me a panicked look for a moment. I don’t think she was expecting this but still I’m left concluding that she is truly ill and bordering an emergency. The doctor mom in me is diagnosing things such as strep throat, a middle ear infection, the stomach flu and appendicitis. She howls in pain and holds her side all the way to the doctor’s office.

We’re in the waiting room for two hours missing out on a beautiful eighty-five degree day. I’m sweaty, hungry and thirsty and my oldest is just as miserable. My youngest is holding her ear and hanging her head down low in the waiting room. We finally get called back. After a few minutes of crying and protesting, the nurse manages to get a throat swab. We wait and wait. Another twenty minutes passes and I’m angry. I feel myself breaking at the seams and this is only the first week of school!

I have a million things to do at home as well as a few jobs lined up for the week. I don’t even have dinner figured out which means it’ll probably be fast food. The doctor finally walks in and I explain to her all of my daughters symptoms. My daughter sits on the exam table, looking miserable and talking in a tiny voice about how awful she feels. The doctor looks in each ear, presses on her tummy and shines a light down her throat.

“She seems fine. She has a low grade fever but it’s a hot day. Her ears are clear. She’s probably just exhausted.” The doctor tells me.

“She has a bad ear ache though.” I tell her.

“Well, there isn’t any redness. They look perfectly healthy.”

“It’s probably swimmers ear. She had that in the spring. Can you look again?”

The doctor looks again and tells me the same thing. I look at my daughter in bafflement.

“Well, she’s in pain. Something is wrong with her. It has to be swimmers ear!”

The doctor shrugs. “I can’t find anything wrong with her.”

In frustration I say the hypocritical words that seal my fate. I literally snap at her. “Do you even know what swimmers ear looks like?”

The doctor gives me an annoyed stare. “Yes, I do.”

I know I’ve made a critical mistake. I know I’ve become that mom that everyone hates. I know I just offended the doctor with my know it all attitude but in the moment I just don’t care.

The doctor turns to my daughter. “Honey, I want you to go home, drink a big glass of water and eat a good dinner. You should be just fine. You might just have a little bug or maybe it’s just the back to school nerves.”

I thank her and we leave. As we make our way home, I’m thinking about the doctor’s bill I’m going to have to pay and how I just wasted nearly three hours of my life to find out nothing is wrong with my daughter. The peculiar part is, she’s acting fine. I look in the mirror and she’s actually smiling.

Later that night as I’m sitting on the couch with my husband, I tell him about the entire incident. I even admit to him what I said to the doctor and he’s shocked. He also starts laughing at me.

“You became that mom! You became that mom!” He taunts at me.

In all seriousness though, we considered the very real possibility that she faked the entire charade to get out of school. Her plan backfired when I rushed her to urgent care so she went with it. We just can’t be sure what really happened. We may never know. To be on the safe side though, my husband ordered an otoscope camera that you plug into any USB device so we can check her ears ourselves before rushing her to urgent care.

As a mom, I would love to admit that I know everything about my children. Before this week, I hadn’t even considered the possibility that my child could lie or fake an illness. I became the mom I thought I wasn’t but yet I realize that I’m normal. I’m also reminding myself, as I always do, to not judge. My child on the other hand, just might be a skilled actress. I’m considering theater lessons. Let her put those acting skills to good use.