My husband and I are both self-proclaimed introverts. I’ve always been a bit of a loner, preferring the solitude of the country, a good book, my computer and a pen and paper. That’s not to say I’m not social. I love coffee dates with my girlfriends, arranging play dates for my children and I love to vacation. My favorite past time in the summer is to spend the entire day at the lake or river, lying on the beach with my children, surrounded by all the other happy families. My husband on the other hand sort of adopted the introverted lifestyle as a way to cope with his horrendous work schedule and to drown out the constant family drama.
We moved out of our cozy home in a housing development to escape the extra stimulus of the city, to a day ranch on five acres, in a small town surrounded by foothills. As we moved, we joked around about living off grid, about becoming self-sustaining and in the off chance the zombie apocalypse happened, we’d be able to hold out on our farm.
Life is ironic…our private joking became somewhat of a reality with the Coronavirus pandemic. Less than three months after our move, we’re now officially stuck in our new home, embracing a new normal that I’ve only ever written about in my dystopian novels. Some might say, I’m prepared for this. I’ve been awaiting this predicament for most of my adult life. There is some truth to that. I have a wild imagination and my anxiety does cause my paranoia to heighten. One might even say, I’m well suited for this new life.
I don’t mind the solitude with my family. I’m thankful we live in seclusion and have a place with a view. I’m all right with school being canceled because I’d rather my children stay healthy than to risk their lives at school. But…I never thought I’d truly miss the interaction that I had with people other than my family.
Social distancing is hard, even for introverts. I miss having coffee dates. I miss taking my kids to the swimming pool and public parks. I miss going to restaurants. I hate that when I go to the grocery store, I have to maintain a six foot distance from the person in front of me. You would think I’d love having the produce department all to myself. I hated it! Within those small moments of smiling at another shopper, talking to a grocery store clerk and just in general being in the vicinity of people, I had human contact. Human interaction that I never thought I’d miss.
It makes me consider the detriment of a society that can no longer touch each other, shake hands, hold a door or venture outside without a face mask. Just the other day as I was buying my toilet paper ration, (yes, I was actually buying four individually wrapped rolls) the strangest thoughts occurred to me, “Would I ever be able to swim at a lake or river again without fear of the virus?” And darker still, “Would I ever hold a baby again?”
I’m not very social at church. I typically walk in right as the service begins and leave right as it gets out but attending services online, feels so sad and terribly lonely. It doesn’t matter what you believe in or what faith you follow, people are meant to be around people. We’re all meant to be together, on this earth and this crazy thing we call life.
This new normal sometimes feels more like a new horror. It’s difficult for everyone…even introverts like myself.
If there is anything to be gained by this pandemic, it’ll be in appreciation for each other. Maybe our selfish human minds can finally, truly appreciate the simple things…a handshake, a hug, an exchange beyond a plastic shield and a fully stocked shelf of toilet paper!
